This made me think of the old GARFIELD AND FRIENDS Saturday morning cartoon series, one of my favorites from back in the day. There were numerous running jokes on the show, sly enough for the adults to appreciate as well as the kids. The Klopman Diamond. The riffs on professional wrestling. And the use of “food-substitute products” instead of real-food. That always made me chuckle. If you can eat it, isn’t it, by definition, “food”? Yet you really can go into a grocery store right now and purchase a “cheese-substitute product,” so the satire here isn’t too far removed from reality.
“Wolf-like creatures” have been spotted in “Forgottonia” (greatest name for a location EV-AH!) a couple’a hundred miles south of Chicago. That’s newsworthy because wolves are supposed to be extinct in that region. Then again cougars are supposed to be extinct in Alabama, too, and I saw one in my own front yard, so there’s “official” and then there’s “factual.”
Sorry. They aren’t wolves. They’re “wolf-like creatures.” In fairness to the experts, though, who refuse to accept that wild wolves might still be alive in southern Illinois, coyotes and wolves DO look a lot alike, especially from a distance. So they COULD be coyotes instead of wolves. This would, then, by definition, mean that coyotes “officially” qualify as “wolf-like creatures.” Personally, I hope they’re wolves. It’s always nice when animals our ancestors supposedly killed off survive in places where they aren’t supposed to be.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!