With Channing Tatum (translation: destined for failure) lined up to star in a new more comical (translation: destined for failure) take on one of the classic Universal Monsters, two questions come immediately to mind. The first: Why? Who could possibly think this was a good idea? And the second: Which of the Monsters are they gonna screw over? The Invisible Man has already been done, and done super well. Ryan Gosling is going to be playing the Wolfman. And there’s a new version of Dracula in the works already. Who does that leave? The Creature from the Black Lagoon? Not likely that a pretty boy type like Tatum would sign on to star in a role wherein he is disguised by heavy makeup. Does that also mean Frankenstein is safe? Maybe, but Tatum could play the mad doctor. He could also play the scientists in a new version of THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN. The thought of either really bums me out.
What about Jekyll and Hyde? That one seems like a good contender, but it’d be a damn shame. Or how about…Van Helsing?! As it so happens, there *is* a new Van Helsing movie in the works. It’d be easy to imagine Tatum in the role formerly played by Hugh Jackman in 2004’s VAN HELSING, which was itself more of an action-oriented, lighter take on the classic Monsters melodrama. But James Wan is producing, and Julius Avery, who directed OVERLORD, will be directing. It’s hard to imagine those two opting for silliness. What does that leave, then? The Phantom of the Opera? Well, Tatum *can* sing, of a sort. And then there’s the Mummy. Oh, please no. Did they learn nothing from involving Tom Cruise?!