Werewolf vs. Merman
Credit FANGORIA (the website, no longer a print magazine, sadly) with proviuding the fodder for this exercise in most important speculation: who would win in a fight, a werewolf or the Merman from THE CABIN IN THE WOODS? I was surfing the ol’ net and came across this image, and the suggestion. It immediately got me to thinking.
So who’d win? It’s a tough one to call. What kind of werewolf are we talking about here? The four-legged but horrific creature from AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON? One of the bipedal beasts of THE HOWLING? Or a genuine wolf, that just happened to be a human before it transformed? Lon Chaney’s Wolfman? One of the hairless, hulking brutes from ROAR? If it’s JUST a wolf, then I’d say the Merman would have the advantage, but it is the Merman who’s really the unknown factor, here. We only got to see it for a split second in THE CABIN IN THE WOODS. WE don’t really know what it can do. We can assume, if it was put in the lottery of potential murderous threats, that it poses some level of significant danger. (Then again, there was a unicorn in that lineup, too.) Can the Merman fight out of the water? It doesn’t have legs. Would that hamper it in a fight?
I’m gonna call it like this: if the fight were in water, the Merman would win. The werewolf would be out of its element. On land, the inverse is true, and the werewolf would win. Agree? Yes? No?
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!