And I bet the werewolves win too. This isn’t another one of those lame movies, –we won’t name names, –where werewolves are enslaved by vampires to like, pull their chariots and do their farm work. It’s a revenge-sploitation movie that crosses Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, with Walking Tall. Except the acting is probably better all around. The werewolf in this movie has to kick major vampire ass in order to save his wife from these super bad vampires. Who I guess want to take over the world. I probably didn’t mention this movie’s budget probably consisted of $26.00, and maybe a handful of tokens from an arcade, with a few buffalo nickels thrown in for good measure. Which is okay, I’ve seen a lot worse done on a much smaller budget, –like Paranormal Activity for instance. All they had to buy was baby powder and fishing line.
The synopsis, and partial review, are courtesy of one of my favorite film critics, the Foywonder on DreadCentral:
“I’d argue a more appropriate title would be Death Hunter: Some Guy Bitten By A Werewolf Partially Cured By An Antidote That Leaves Him With All The Abilities Of A Lycan Without Actually Transforming Into One Begins Running Around Looking Like A Chemo Patient Blade But Barely Uses His Lycan Powers Vs. Werewolves & Vampires, but that’s just me.
Death Hunter: Werewolves vs. Vampires is an American movie I had never heard of when I stumbled upon a DVD listing on a Thai website I scour every so often. At the time it didn’t even have an IMDB listing. It still doesn’t have one. Needless to say I purchased a cheap import and reviewed it over a year ago. As you can read for yourself, I was less than impressed.
Now you’ll get your chance this May to tell me if you agree or disagree with my assessment when MTI Home Video release Death Hunter: Werewolves vs. Vampires to DVD on May 24th. DVD features include closed captioning, option Spanish subtitles, 16:9 widescreen format, 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound, deleted scenes, and trailers.
When his wife is abducted by a group of blood-thirsty Vampires, John Croix is left to die in a forgotten region of the desert. It is here where an unspeakable evil exists. Now, by no choice of his own, Croix will come face-to-face with the most terrifying creatures of the night. Still a man, but possessing all the strength and power of a werewolf when the moon is out, Croix becomes a reluctant hero for mankind when he learns that his wife may still be alive. Croix sets out on a mission to rescue his wife – venturing deeper and deeper into the Vampire’s lair– in his quest to save her before she is lost to the world of the undead forever.”
I included the trailer for the film below, and instead of using the American DVD cover art, I used the Thai one, because it’s more misleading, –you see, as a sadist, I know that most people see a title like “Werewolf Movies to Avoid” and think, “Oh I can take it!” and then you go and downlo–, I mean, buy this movie, and watch it. Then you experience the crippling mental agony of willingly, electively, defiantly sitting through a movie so stupid, that it gives everyone in a ten mile radius a simultaneous nosebleed. And I take another small victory in my continuous effort to rule the world. Think of me as a hotter, more evil version of Pearl Forrester from MST3K. In a couple months, you’ll find this film in $0.99 DVD bins in every Wal-Mart in the U.S., so enjoy!
Hell the poster looks like crap, that should be a sign