Turducken and Cthurkey

This really doesn’t have a lot to do with werewolves, but it involves H.P. Lovecraft, and since we’ve just finished with Thanksgiving I guess it’ll be okay. Before this year I’d never heard of a Turducken before. A friend of mine made a comment about it, wondering if my family would be having Turducken for Thanksgiving dinner. I thought he was just trying to be funny, making up a funny word. Turns out it’s a real thing. They stick a chicken inside a duck (one would expect they first remove the innards from said duck) and then stuff the stuffed duck inside a turkey, thus creating a “Turducken.” Sounds tasty, if one is of a carnivorous bent, which I am. Are there any hardcore werewolf marks who are vegetarians, I wonder?

Anyway, researching the Turducken led me to discover the Cthurkey. It’s an octopus stuffed inside a turkey with crab legs added. I like turkey and crab, but I don’t know if I’d be able to make myself eat Cthurkey. It looks unappetizing, to say the least. And for the record, I am against the eating of octopus. It violates my staunch rule that no one should ever eat a predator. Plus octopi have tons of personality. And they’re really smart. It’d be like eating a border collie to me. Some things just ain’t right.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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