Thoughts of Season Three of STRANGER THINGS

I’ve seen it!

Not being able to livestream sucks. You see, in the boonies where I live like a hermit, eating only the wild game I can snare and wearing garments fashioned of old burlap sacks, you can’t get cable, and you can only get the Internet via satellite, as well as satellite television. I could purchase and download content to my computer, yes (like STRANGER THINGS), but satellite Internet is metered. Downloading and watching just one episode of the show would burn through my bandwidth for an entire month. Also, the reception really sucks. I’m not gonna buy something that’s 50% macroblocking. (I hate macroblocking so much it makes me miss the static of the old rabbit-ears antennae.) What’s a misanthropic hermit to do, then? Resort to doing business with a bootlegger! Kudos to my bootlegger of choice for getting the third season of STRANGER THINGS burned onto DVDs so quickly. And the transfer is flawless. It seems I found myself a professional-level bootlegger. (“You are paying for the service, not the content!” he assiduously stressed, assuring me that he had legally purchased the latter.) And thanks to this transference, I have now seen season three in all its glory.

Random thoughts: (SPOILER WARNING!) I don’t think Hopper is “the American” being held in that prison in Russia. I think that’s a red herring. I think Hopper is trapped in the Upside-Down. I can’t believe anybody seriously believes they killed him off.

Dad Steve has now become my favorite (human) character. Ironic considering how much I hated him in season one.

When the Mind-flayer picked up the walkie-talkie and roared into it, it forever cemented itself in my affections. I also almost fell off the couch laughing.

Billy made for a great villain, and is a most complex character. I’d like to see him back. I’d like to see Alexei back too.

I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I can’t stand Lucas’s little sister. She gets on my last nerve. I was hoping the Mind-flayer would eat her. I also wanted to see Cary Elwes’s character get eaten. Maybe we’ll get that next season.

I totally get why they gelded Eleven of her powers. If she becomes too powerful there is no dramatic tension. They call it the “Superman Syndrome.” The only way to have a protagonist with super-powers and the story still work is to make the villain even more powerful. Call this the “Thanos Solution.” Eleven wasn’t all that far from becoming like the kids in CHRONICLE, flying and whatnot. Weakening her was the right move.

Considering how they ended this season, I’m curious to see how they pull together season four. And I’m really curious to see what kind of monster they concoct. If I were going to write season four, I’d have it be Hopper who’s being held prisoner by the Russians, and that Demogorgon they have in Russia be Dart all grown up, and because of his memories of Dustin, Dart would be a “good” Demogorgon who’d help Hopper escape. Tell me that wouldn’t work!

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763 MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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