werewolf, werewolves and lycans

The PC Police Hatin’ on SPLIT

I have in the past vented so much spleen on the Political Correctness movement and on “outrage culture” that it’s surprising I have any spleen left. I must have Wolverine spleen, though, a mutant healing factor with a spleen that constantly grows back like Prometheus’s liver, as I never seem to run out of vitriol for the wannbe PC saviors—sadly, they seem to be in inexhaustible supply as well. Lest anyone is not able to recognize the difference, the PC wankers are those who plan to save the world from insensitivity, and they’re starting by looking for things in pop culture over which to get offended on behalf of some minority group, unlike real activists, who have real problems they want to address. Y’know, racism, injustice, pollution, war. The PC wankers, meanwhile, freak out over Disney cartoons and the flag painted on top of the General Lee in THE DUKES OF HAZZARD. Their latest target is M. Night Shyamalan’s magnificent return-to-form, SPLIT, which I reviewed here this week. “It’s making fun of people with mental illness!” these useless clowns are lamenting. And to anyone such as myself, anyone who points out how stupid their outrage is, their response is always the same: A member of a non-repressed group doesn’t get to tell the repressed what they shouldn’t find offensive. Ah, but you see, wankers, neither should a member of the non-oppressed tell them what they SHOULD be offended about, either, which is what you’re guilty of doing, time and again. I can go you one better, though. In this case, I AM a member of that minority.

I have suffered from mental illness my entire life, and I’ve got the medical records to prove it. I feel no shame in admitting this. I have in the past suffered from the stigma attached to those who have any type of psychological disorder, yes I have. I have experienced discrimination because of it. Because at age sixteen I didn’t know any better and made the mistake of admitting on a form I had to fill out at the DMV that I had received treatment for a psychological condition (I have OCD and chronic depression with bipolar tendencies, since I know you’re all wondering), I was for the next ten years put through a needless and humiliating sequence of hoop-jumping, just to get to keep my driver’s license. I was made to feel like a second-class citizen, like a freak. The State motor vehicle department sure enough taught me a valuable lesson: Never tell the truth. You will be punished for it. Like I said, I was sixteen and I didn’t know any better.

Anyway, when I say I have suffered because of my condition, I mean just that. No exaggeration. At times, it’s been bad. Really, really bad. As such, I am one of the “mentally challenged” that the PC wankers feel the need to speak up for—and I am telling them, plainly and clearly, SHUT THE F*CK UP. I don’t need you getting all offended on my behalf. WE don’t need you. Take your useless selves on outta here.

SPLIT is a F-A-N-T-A-S-Y. It isn’t making fun of anyone or anything. It’s simply a thrilling, entertaining film. Go back to bitching about MOANA. The last I checked, the lead character is still fat and still brown, so return to your hand-wringing over the numerous ways the ‘toon is making fun of obese people and Polynesians. Or better yet, and for the betterment of society as a whole, take Shyamalan’s advice. Make like a banana and SPLIT. Losers.

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763

MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!


The Evil Cheezman • February 10, 2017


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