THE NORTHMAN: As Close as We’ll Get to that Tarzan Sequel

Take a look at Alexander Skarsgard’s ripped and rugged appearance in the forthcoming film THE NORTHMAN. Looks familiar, doesn’t it? Looks a helluva lot like he looked when he played Tarzan, just with a beard and a hatchet. With rumor suggesting that one of the reasons we never saw a sequel to THE LEGEND OF TARZAN being that Skarsgard didn’t want to have to undergo the intense training necessary to get so ripped, Ima call bullshit on that one. He obviously has no such problem. There is no financial reason why we didn’t get that sequel, either, since the movie proved profitable. We’re left to wonder, then, why it didn’t happen when it should have.

Ah, well. THE NORTHMAN looks rad. It’s from Robert Eggers, who gave us THE LIGHTHOUSE and THE WITCH, so it’ll be good. Says Eggers of the film: “It’s basically the story of Hamlet or The Lion King, which was originally an old Norse story where the Hamlet character was called Amleth. We’ve told it in our own way. It is a Viking saga with magic and swords and mysticism and all the stuff that you’d want from that.”

What I actually want, Mr. Eggers, is for you to take on a proper sequel to THE LEGEND OF TARZAN. Maybe bring Alex along with you.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763 MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!