The Nightmare Burger
You’ve all no doubt seen the commercials for Burger King’s new “Nightmare King” burger.” Now I love me a good gimmick, am a complete sucker for a good gimmick, so I had to try the product, and tell you all about it. It’s fun; it’s Halloween season. And, as I admitted, I’m a mark for gimmickry. A willing mark, certainly, but still.
I am, however, going to “debunk” the restaurant chain’s claims that eating the Nightmare King burger will cause nightmares. See, if you eat a heavy meal before going to bed, it is statistically more probable that you’ll have bad dreams. That’s it. There’s no “secret sauce” in the Nightmare Burger that will affect your brain. The green bun? That’s just food coloring. It will do what you would expect food coloring to do, but this result is harmless and temporary. Boo Berry cereal will do the same thing. Just sayin’.
But how does the Nightmare Burger *taste*? Pretty yummy, actually. It’s a combination of a Whopper with the Burger King original chicken sandwich, with bacon. It needs a little ketchup for maximum flavor, in my opinion, but I’d gladly have one again. I may, in fact, before the product goes away on Halloween.
As for whether or not I had nightmares: Nope. Not a one. But then things that scare normal people never scare me—I love Horror movies and always root for the Monster—so I’m probably not the best control subject.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!