The Minnesota Iceman—a Relic Neanderthal?

Sometimes I see the length of an article after it catches my attention, and I’m like, Oy vey! Such things take time to read, after all, to mark and inwardly digest, and then even more time to reproduce in an abridged form for the entertainment and education of all you, my lovelies. Sometimes I’ll content myself to merely titillate, leaving it to the author(s) of the original article to dole out all the details, for those of you who are interested enough to read said original article. This one interested me enough that I had to read the thing in its entirety. I will, then, encapsulate and, hopefully, titillate at the same time with my thoughts on the subject, without writing a novella in the process.

Bernard Heuvelmans was a Cryptozoologist with actual scientific clout. He, along with fellow scientifically-credible investigator Ivan Sanderson, examined the cadaver of a large, shaggy, bipedal creature frozen in a block of ice. This creature, dismissed by many as a carnival gaffe (and later on replaced, according to the lore, with just such a fake specimen, although Sanderson and Heuvelmans disagreed on this point, with the latter arguing that the original had NOT been replaced, just repackaged), was believed by Heuvalmans to be, or to have been, a “devolved” Neanderthal. As to what happened to the Minnesota Iceman, as the creature was called—whether the original specimen or the replacement fake, or if it was always a fake, or if there never was a replacement and the corpse was always real—no one knows. Maybe it’s in Texas, like some claim. Or maybe it’s in that warehouse we see at the end of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK with the Ark of the Covenant.

I’d bet on the latter.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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