The Limb-Ripper Finds A Home!

I like to think I had a little something to do with this. First I gave some press to the Limb Ripper before it ever came out in stores. It would have had to have been beforehand, as the stores wherein the Limb Ripper would be sold, the Spirit Halloween franchise, had not opened up for the season. Then I met the Limb Ripper in person, and rechristened him, my inner grammar nazi demanding that I correct the slight flaw in the figure’s name by adding a hyphen. The Limb-Ripper, it became, and shall evermore remain, whether Spirit Halloween ever bothers to change the way they market it or not.

The other day I went back into my nearest Spirit Halloween store, only to find the pedestal upon which the Limb-Ripper had been displayed empty. The grammatically incorrect sign proclaiming its name, with the price listed below it, was gone. This could only mean one thing: the Limb-Ripper had been purchased by someone! It had found a home! I was happy for it, but a little sad that it wasn’t there at the store to greet me upon my entrance.

Sure, the Limb-Ripper was mass-produced (you need another hyphen there, please note) and there may well be another Limb-Ripper standing on its perch inside the doorway of the Spirit Halloween store I patronize. I may encounter it when next I visit. But it won’t be MY Limb-Ripper.

Whoever out there purchased my furry, animatronic friend, you’d better take good care of him, less he come to life under the next full moon and eat you. (Hey, there’s a story, there! Hmmm…)

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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