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The Lamest Movie Monsters of All Time – Werewolves Included

I was so excited when I saw this linked headline, and then so disappointed that the list proved so short. There is almost a limitless collection of contenders to choose from, and this guy picked just a handful, excellent choices though they are. THE GIANT CLAW is a given. Then we are offered a were-mosquito, a giant mutant sheep, a half-man, half-TURKEY. That’s some classic cheesiness, there. Downright Woodsian. (That’s ED Wood, obviously, the mad genius of low-budget cornball cinema—and a personal hero of mine.) But where on this list is the CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA? Where are the dogs draped in sheets from THE KILLER SHREWS, the garbage-bag-draped stuntmen of ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES? Where are all the WEREWOLVES?

I can offer some help where those latter are concerned. Cheesiest-looking werewolf? Take your pick from amongst the HOWLING sequels. And while I found the flick quite groovy, the beast in THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF looked like an oversized rabid Pekingese. And in the excellent THE BEAST MUST DIE, the movie makers tried the novel approach of putting a large dog in monster make-up to create their werewolf, which worked surprisingly well, making for a menacing four-legged lycanthrope—except for one brief scene, in which the “werewolf” is sitting, panting, and looks adorable.

Feel free to contribute your own suggestions, here. In over a century of cinema, there are plenty of possibilities.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763

MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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