-The FBI and Bigfoot
Last week, the Federal Bureau of Investigation released a report concerning a DNA test they had done on a supposed sample of Bigfoot hair and skin. They didn’t do it voluntarily. It came as the result of a request made using the Freedom of Information Act, which requires government agencies to release to the public any materials requested, so long as those materials do not jeopardize national security. Not that anyone believes the Government actually does this, not all the time. (Request information on Area 51 and see what results you get.) But the FBI did release the file on Bigfoot, dating from the mid-1970s. Or didn’t, as the case proved. They claimed that no test had ever been performed on any such sample. But then they offered to do one.
Here is the request made by Peter Byrne, the current director of the Bigfoot Information Center: “Will you kindly, to set the record straight, once and for all, inform us if the FBI has examined hair which might be that of a Bigfoot; when this took place; if it did take place; what the results of the analysis were.”
The FBI responded: “The FBI Laboratory conducts examinations primarily of physical evidence for law enforcement agencies in connection with criminal investigations. Occasionally, on a case-by-case basis, in the interest of research and scientific inquiry, we make exceptions to this general policy. With this understanding, we will examine the hairs and tissue…” Good for them, but the hairs ended up being from a deer. And the Bigfoot researchers ended up looking even more like crackpots in the eyes of the public than they did before. It’s a shame.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!