The Answer Man

I do consider myself an expert on werewolves, yes. And vampires. And the paranormal in general. No, I don’t have a degree in folklore, in comparative religion, or in cultural anthropology. But I do read a lot. A LOT. And it is my job to be well educated on the subject(s). But let’s keep that in perspective. It is not at all uncommon for some follower of this site to contact me, wanting me to tell him how to turn into a werewolf. Or how to tell if his next-door neighbor is a werewolf. Or asks me where he can go to see a real werewolf. Because obviously, since I’m the guy writing for this site, I have access to some secret, arcane knowledge, right? Um, no. I’m sorry. I wish I did, but I don’t.

A few years back, when THE DARK KNIGHT was in production and everything was all secretive, I was at the grocery store wearing a Batman T-shirt. This guy comes up to me and says, “Oh, you must have the inside details on the upcoming movie.” And I’m like, “Just because I’m wearing a T-shirt?” Same deal, here.

Sure, I could be a poser and claim to be a source of secret knowledge. But I respect my readers too much to yank your chains. I always encourage any of our fans to ask questions or offer comments. That’s awesome. But folks, honestly, I am not the werewolf whisperer.

Then again, if I WERE, I wouldn’t tell you, now would I?

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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