The Abomination That Is The “BRONIE”

I almost didn’t post this one, but I just can’t resist. But how to link it to the subject of werewolves? Well, I do frequently explore how the werewolf is a psychological archetype, a Jungian conflation (or distillation) of all that is base and primitive in human nature. This certainly qualifies in that regard. We can classify this week’s featured freakazoid as a werewolf of the most pervy variety. He is into kiddie porn. And MY LITTLE PONY.

Grown men who love My Little Pony refer to themselves as “Bronies.” Some insist that they are not ALL sexually attracted to little cartoon horses, but that there is an entire My Little Pony fetish is an established fact. I have a friend who owns a comic and specialty shop, and he has shown me catalogues he receives in the mail, trying to get him to carry all sorts of skeevy MLP sex toys, costumes and props. Occasionally, when I used to work at the store as a fill-in cashier, a certified Bronie would drop by for a visit. I was always polite—but after they left I wanted to spray the place down with Lysol. Bronies are just plain creepy—and not in the cool way that monsters are creepy. In the pervertiest sense of the word.

(NOTE: This article is posted all in fun. I hope that comes across as obvious. Even so, do any of you self-respecting Bronies out there want to chime in, to defend your beloved little magic horsies from the big, bad werewolf marks?)

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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