Storm Area 51 Goes Bust

First the dipstick who started the whole thing tried to start a music festival instead. When he realized that music festivals don’t just happen, that they require a lot of work and planning, he then cancelled the event, and to save face he put the blame on other people. But the ball had already started rolling, and people showed up anyway—about a whole whopping hundred of them. And nobody “stormed” anything. One guy got arrested for peeing in public. How pathetic.

The “Alienstock” festival held in the community of nearby Rachel, Nevada only drew some 2500 people. That’s plenty big enough for a “town” with a population of fifty-something people. There are no hospitals in Rachel, or anywhere near it. No police department. No service stations or places to purchase gas. There’s not even a Walmart or a Dollar General. If you broke down out there in certain areas, you could be in serious danger. That’s not hyperbole. Hopefully now that the dilettantes have seen for themselves just how desolate the area truly is, and just how impossible are their chances to ever actually get onto the base, they’ll go home. And stay there.

I could’a saved ‘em all the trouble if they’d bothered to read my firsthand account of my own visit to Area 51 before heading out.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.