werewolf, werewolves and lycans

Squeeze Your Own Baby Dart

You definitely want to give him a gentle squeeze while he’s still in his “Polliwog” form. Don’t wait until he grows into a Demo-Dog, or a fully-formed Demogorgon. Then he would probably rip your arm off. If he’s still a Polliwog, the worst that could happen is that you might lose a finger. (Or a housecat, if you wait too long and he grows.)

McFarlane Toys, the company owned by asshat supreme Todd McFarlane (guy’s a jerk, but he sure makes some cool toys), is bringing us more in the way of STRANGER THINGS merchandise. Like a Barb action figure, and “Punk” Eleven. And a squeezable Dart figure. If you squeeze the Dart, his little flower-petal head will open and display all those nasty teeth. Here’s what the company says of the toy: “Spectacular likeness of Dart at the polliwog stage; Features lizard like tail and paint that mirrors a slimy monster from the Upside Down; Jaws open when Dart is squeezed, showing off its iconic mouth and teeth; Features soft squeezable texture that measure 4 ½ inches long and fits perfect in the palm of the hand.” Hey, McFarlane. You should have hyphenated “lizard-like.” Otherwise, go ahead and sign me up for one of those adorable little monsters.

Squeezable Dart will go on sale in October.

The Evil Cheezman • June 15, 2018

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