werewolf, werewolves and lycans

Satan’s Steed and Topiary

Sounds like the name of a business, doesn’t it? “Satan’s Steed and Topiary”?

If you follow horseracing—I don’t—then you already know that a horse named Justify won some pennant or something. I don’t care. I’m only mentioning it because I found out that the thoroughbred—that’s what you call these horses, right? Thoroughbreds? I don’t know what that means, and, again, I don’t care—is supposed to be in league with the Devil. There are pentagrams all over its stalls, according to the Internets. (Not that the pentagram was recognized as a symbol of evil until the medieval Church started demonizing pre-Christian pagan religions en masse. But whatever.) Writer Curt Siodmak established a link between pentagrams and werewolves in his screenplay for 1941s THE WOLFMAN, you will recall. Does that mean there’s a connection between Justify and lycanthropy, then?

Alas, no. It doesn’t. As much fun as the idea of a were-horse sounds, the horse is just a horse. Of course.

The Evil One is also at work in the world of plants. There’s this invasive plant species popping up in Virginia called giant hogweed. It grows up to fifteen feet high and is a member of the carrot family. Hmmm. The sap of Satan’s Carrot can cause third-degree burns to your skin and blindness if you get it in your eyes.

And THAT sounds like the title of some obscure literary novel. “The Sap of Satan’s Carrot.” Or maybe some creepy porno.

The Evil Cheezman • June 29, 2018

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