-Satan’s Soyburgers

Pic shows: The devil shape stake.nnThis is the devil steak, a piece of meat with the figure of the devil etched into the fat of the meat.nnThe photo of the steak in question has gone viral since being uploaded by a user in the state of Baja California Sur, north-west Mexico.nnThe phenomenon was discovered by a butcher when he was cutting off the piece of meat. When he sliced it of and put it on the table, he could not believe the image he saw formed by the bone, flesh and fat.nnSome users have also compared the eerie figure to the Prince of Darkness, the villain in the 1987 US horror movie.nnThe shocked butcher assures he did not carry out any type of satanic ritual to call the devil to his shop.nnSome social media users have used the images to make humorous holy week themed memes:nnOne user posted the photo with the words: "Keep eating meat in holy week atheists."nnAnother wrote: "That awkward moment when a devil appears on your steak."nn(ends)n     

And here is this week’s comic relief.

In this age of the Internet, it’s nigh impossible to say for certain if something you see is legit, what with Poe’s Law and satire and all that. But it really doesn’t matter in this case if it’s for realz or not. It’s still funny, either way. I’d bet on it being real, though, considering we’re talking about a Right-wing faux-Christian fanatic. Rick Wiles hosts the Alt-Right uber-fundamentalist propaganda site TruNews. He had this to say. I’m not making this up, either.

“When you go to your favorite fast food restaurant, you are going to be eating a fake hamburger. You’re going to go to the grocery store and buy a pound of fake hamburger or a fake steak, and you won’t know that it was grown in some big corporation’s laboratory. This is the nightmare world that they are taking us into. They’re changing God’s creation. Why? Because they want to be God…God is an environmentalist. He takes this very seriously. He created this planet, he created the universe and he’s watching these Luciferians destroy this planet, destroy the animal kingdom, destroy the plant kingdom, change human DNA. Why? They want to change human DNA so that you can’t be born again. That’s where they’re going with this, to change the DNA of humans so it will be impossible for a human to be born again. They want to create a race of soulless creatures on this planet.”

Alas those soulless creatures already exist. They are exclusively his target audience. But if you happen to be worried about your mortal soul, just eat some nice bloody steak and you’ll be fine. Forget all those analogies in the Bible describing the Devil as a “beast.” It is God who is the carnivore, yo.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763 MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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