Register Today or Pay the Consequences Later

Just about every day, we’re bombarded with comments from people who claim they are real live vampires, werewolves, –no zombies yet, or ghouls, that I know of. So far, vampires and werewolves are the most popular. Well guys, I’ve got some bad news for you; according to the Supernatural Registration Authority, you have to register as a supernatural creature immediately, and print your proof of supernatural creature-ness, or you could face some sever consequences. The official website of the Supernatural Registration Authory, the SRA, lists these as:

  • Arrest on sight
  • 24 – 72 hour remand while your identity and status are determined
  • Search and seizure of personal property
  • Forced registration, with restrictions
  • Forcible removal from public, municipal or federal property
  • Deportation
  • Nullification of non-human abilities (procedures may include surgery or mental conditioning)
  • In extreme cases, immediate termination

Ooo, that does sound serious. If you’re not sure whether or not your should have to register, you can check the FAQ section or, read below:

The SRA provides mandatory registration and optional licensing services for members of the international supernatural, paranatural and magico-religious communities. If you are [an] entity listed in the SRA Entity Index and you do not have a Supernatural Entity Number, you must register.

By registering with the SRA, non-human entities guaranteed due process and a fair trial in any civil or criminal legal proceedings related to their supernatural capabilities.”

And to be sure, the Entity Index is quite sizable; so finally, for all of you serious werewolves and vampires, I suggest you head over to the SRA’s official site and get registered, –we’d hate for you to get arrested… or receive surgery or ‘mental conditioning’. Then again, in terms of mental conditioning, I’m not so sure that a good many of some of our avid readers who argue about the best werewolf transformation methods, might not benefit from some really enthusiastic mental conditioning.

8 comments

  1. Crap, better get registered. NOT. Is that website some sort of a joke. We do not need to prove who we are by getting registered.

  2. I may be mortal, but that’s just insane! It’s like saying you have to register to be an African American or you’ll be shot down by the CIA or something. I don’t mean to cause any trouble, but why must they do such a thing? It’s racism!!!!

  3. Apparently for the month of March the Registration site is donating the proceeds to help people in Japan so if you are interested in registering with the site, this month is a good time to do so as it can help the people of Japan recover from the disaster they just suffered.

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