Rebel Hell

The other day I was driving north on Interstate 65 in my home state of Alabama when I saw a sign advertising a Halloween store at an approaching exit. As the first day of Halloween had just passed (You all know that Halloween is a season, right? It isn’t just one day.) I wondered if perchance this store might still be open—and if it, like most stores specializing in Halloween-themed fare, might now be offering items on sale. I had to make a stopover to see.

I kid you not, the place was called BILLY BOB’S. Of course it was. IN Alabama? Of course it was. Billy Bob’s looked like it had formerly been something else; a warehouse, or a garage. I approached, but almost turned around when I saw, posted on the door, a sign proclaiming that medical masks were not required inside (the State mandate says otherwise, and I wore mine anyway) because “Freedom don’t end where Fear Begins!” or something like that. But the lure of Halloween goodies proved stronger than my revulsion of anything and everything redneck-ish, and I went inside. My love for Halloween was challenged even more when I saw the huge Trump campaign sign hanging on the wall inside. I knew I was not among my own kind here. Dared I to stay? Yes. I dared.

To be fair, the people working at Billy Bob’s couldn’t have been any nicer to me, and they had some great stuff, stuff I hadn’t seen at places like Spirit Halloween or Halloween Express. The prices weren’t bad, either. I’d even go back there again. I’d just keep a low profile, try to remain inconspicuous. As inconspicuous as a guy like me can be, anyway.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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