Rambo V: The Savage Hunt
What could possibly be cooler and more badass than Rambo? Rambo and a werewolf, that’s what! The once lucrative franchise is now clearly grasping at straws to hold its head above water, but hey, that’s okay, because werewolves, –or at least, a creature that resembles one, –are involved. The film is supposed to be released, according to the iMDB, vast repository for all movie knowledge, in 2011. If anyone can match up to a werewolf in hand to hand combat, it’s Rambo. Or Arnold. Or Bruce Willis. Or… well, I guess it really all depends on the dedicated efforts of the CGI technicians, and let’s face it folks, –they’re usually running on the sugary sweet equivalent of pure ethanol: Mountain Dew, Reese’s Cups, and pot. There’s bound to be some heavy duty insanity in this film.
What’s the movie about anyway? If you’re a Sylvester Stallone fan, then you don’t really need to know what the movie’s about, just that he’s in it. And really, people… when was the last time a Stallone movie was “about” something? Maybe that racing movie was about something; let’s go with cars. Sure. But for the rest of us, who require a little bit more information before we rush to the super-inexpensive-DVD-bin at Wal-Mart, I’ll go ahead and give the plot outline. According to WorstPreviews.com, the story is:
“John Rambo could track anyone – or anything – on earth. Now the military desperately needs him for a mission that his ultrasensitive instincts tell him he should refuse. A beast is loose somewhere north of the Arctic Circle. It has already decimated a secret research facility and annihilated a squad of elite military guards. And the raging creature is headed south toward civilization, ready to wreak bloody devastation.
It’s a job that Rambo and his 22-year-old hunting partner, Beau Brady, can’t turn down, but they and a team of highly-skilled special forces kill team discover that the prey is a terror beyond their wildest imagination – a half-human abomination created by a renegade agency through a series of outlawed genetic experiments. It has man’s cunning, a predator’s savageness, and a prehistoric power that has transcended the ages. And even if Rambo and Beau survive its unrelenting hunger for human blood, they’ll still have to confront the grim reality that it may have grown immortal.”
Yep, that thing has to be a werewolf; “half-human abomination”, “hunger for human blood”, and “terror beyond their wildest imagination” –sounds like a winning combination to me. Never mind that the terrifying beast has already killed a large group of highly trained military personnel, and super secret gub’ment scientists couldn’t stop it. Surely Rambo and some random young guy can stop him! Because Rambo’s intelligence is obviously something to be reckoned with; what else can you say about a man who has four sequels to his original feature?! If by some miracle this movie makes it to theatres, I’ll actually pay the arm and a leg it costs to get in!