werewolf, werewolves and lycans


If I could only convince one of the major Hollywood studios to do something that would be in their best interests. They need to just give me the money to make a movie. I guarantee this hypothetical movie would turn a profit. I actually have a lot of movies (that I’ll never get to make) in mind, and they would all rake in the dough. Since this is werewolves.com, though, I will focus on just one of those hypothetical movies floating around in my dank fetid swamp of a mind: PROJECT METALBEAST VS. JASON X. If you have seen both of those referenced films, you know they have the same basic theme: the monster gets an upgrade. In PROJECT METALBEAST, it’s a werewolf who is reborn as a cybernetic armor-plated uber-creature. In JASON X, the tenth installment in the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise, it is our beloved slasher Jason who gets the Terminator makeover.

What do the two have in common, besides the central theme? Both the Metalbeast and Jason X were played by the same actor, Kane Hodder. In my movie, they would be again. Using trick photography and a smattering of CGI, we would have Kane Hodder fighting Kane Hodder. Come on, now, tell me you wouldn’t pay to see that!

Alas, Hollywood will instead make another one of those dead/reincarnated dog movie love stories. Blech. Why are the ones with all the money always the ones without any original ideas?

The Evil Cheezman • June 2, 2019

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