Mathilda lay in perfect darkness, listening. She could hear the Beast chewing on its leg. Her heart pounded like a drum, and every beat caused the pain in her leg to flare up anew. She trembled, cold. She waited. “Comin’ home, Lord,” she whispered. A skittering near her head. “Tillie?” A familiar voice inside her…
-Satan’s Soyburgers
And here is this week’s comic relief. In this age of the Internet, it’s nigh impossible to say for certain if something you see is legit, what with Poe’s Law and satire and all that. But it really doesn’t matter in this case if it’s for realz or not. It’s still funny, either way. I’d…
-BAD DOG, a New Hound From Hell
Oh, man. I need to see this movie. NEED to see it. It’s a combination of your typical syrupy “family-friendly” dog movie and a Horror flick. It’s the story of Bub, the Devil’s favorite dog, who gets kicked out of Hell and ends up getting adopted by a struggling single dad—aren’t all single dads struggling…
-STRANGER THINGS Synopsis and the Upside-Down Cheeseburger
I bought my special STRANGER THINGS-themed package of New Coke. I bought the Baskin-Robbins exclusive STRANGER THINGS Funko figure. I will NOT buy a freakin’ package of ketchup for some exorbitant fee! No matter how cute it is! Burger King is, you see, offering special STRANGER THINGS products, including a special cardboard crown, packets of…
-The Fouke Monster Festival
I wasn’t able to make it, unfortunately, and even if I had been able to rearrange my schedule to make the trip to the Fouke, Arkansas and Texarkana, Texas area, the event had been sold out for months. I’ve been to Fouke before. I’ve visited the world-famous Monster Mart, driven the backroads out by the…
-Heads up!
Discovered in Siberia and currently on display in Japan is the head of a giant Ice Age wolf, with “giant” being a relative term, here. It isn’t big like Ralph the giant wolf from RAMPAGE, but it is considerably larger than any wolf alive today. The head is 16 inches long, whereas the head of…
-A Return Visit to Hawkins
I am nothing if not tenacious. It comes with having an obsessive personality. My first visit to my nearest Baskin-Robbins—participating retailers of which franchise have been temporarily transformed into Hawkins, Indiana in honor of the forthcoming third season of STRANGER THINGS, due to release on Netlfix on July 4th—having been a disappointment, I determined to…
THERIOPHOBIA: FEAR THE BEAST Part 55
Chaney opened her eyes. *I’m still alive?!* She could see light. She rolled over from where she had landed on her belly. The flashlight lay beside her, still burning. Good flashlight. The air had gone foggy, thick with dust. Chaney sat up. Where the tunnel had been, the flashlight’s beam now revealed a wall of…
THERIOPHOBIA: FEAR THE BEAST Part 54
The Beast dropped Chaney again; the impact brought her back to full consciousness. She rolled over to see the Beast pawing at the ground, shaking its head, rubbing at its muzzle. Enough Moonlight spilled down through the trees for her to make out pieces of broken glass scattered over the pine needles. The Beast ground…
WE’RE WOLVES Still Coming. But Don’t Hold Your Breath.
As we all wait impatiently for the second season of WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS to grace the airwaves, there is word from Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement concerning their proposed sequel/spinoff WE’RE WOLVES, featuring the werewolves who appeared in the WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS movie. Said Waititi at a recent event:…