werewolf, werewolves and lycans

New THE HOWLING Tell-All Book

To be published in May by Miami Fox Publishing, which is located not in Miami but in Great Britain, ironically enough, THE COMPLETE HISTORY OF THE HOWLING is written by Bryn Curt James Hammon and will feature an introduction by Philippe Mora, who directed HOWLING 2 and HOWLING 3. (This introduction should be about ten pages long, and should consist of nothing more than Mora stating “I’m sorry!” over and over. And the guy should have to write it by hand while sitting naked in a meat locker and being spritzed with freezing water. Yes, HOWLING 3 is THAT abysmally bad. Mora should be exposed to SAW-esque tortures for committing such a transgression.)

As for the book itself, according to the project’s Twitter page, the book will be: “the complete account of one of the most popular and iconic legendary film franchises in cinema history. When [the original] movie premiered in 1981, the film introduced cinema-goers to an all-new kind of movie monster–shocking, visceral, graphic and relentless. Spawning seven popular sequels to date, the series has become the most prosperous werewolf franchise of all time.” Wow. Both “iconic” and “legendary” can rightfully be used to describe the first film and, if you stretch it, really stretch it, the franchise as a whole, but using them both together without even a comma between them is hyperbolas as hell. And it fails to mention that the “seven popular sequels” have been of widely varying quality, and that none of them has even come close to being as good as the first. Still, the book looks interesting, and the cover looks nice. If they wanna send me a review copy, I won’t send it back to ’em. But I will take a sharpie and mark out every word written by that hack Mora! There ain’t no forgivin’ HOWLING 3!

The Evil Cheezman • March 22, 2018

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