I initially thought this was an article from THE ONION. But no, it appears to be for realz. Scientists are growing mini-Neanderthal brains, called “Neanderoids,” in petri dishes, with the next step being to hardwire them to miniature, crab-like robots. Go ahead and read that last sentence again. See why I thought it was a gag? My second thought, upon realizing that this linked article wasn’t parody, was a rumination of how much this scenario sounds like the set-up for a schlocky and wonderful B-grade Horror flick. Neanderthal brains controlling robots. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
The third question I had was, why robots? I get the whole re-growing Neanderthal brains thing. We can learn a lot about Neanderthals that way. But why hook ‘em up to robots, hoping the mini-brains will “learn” to control them? I get that it’s wicked cool, but I don’t quite grasp the secondary scientific goal here.
The fourth thing that occurred to me: if they can regrow miniature Neanderthal BRAINS in a laboratory, is it really that big a jump to them being able to regrow Neanderthals, period?
Neanderthal cyborgs. Like I said, what could possibly go wrong?
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!