Movie Review: THE NORTHMAN

Sometimes there’s so much to say, it’s kinda hard to decide where to start. That really only applies when talking about something good. If you’re dealing with something completely lousy, you can phone it in, going down the list checking off all the ways the product fails. But if it’s superlative? Acting, directing, cinematography, music, costuming, pacing, etc. If any one area is deficit you can play compare and contrast, decide which are more important than others, if the good is sufficient to outweigh the bad. But when there’s nothing bad to say, it gets a little more challenging.

Folks, I have nothing negative to say about THE NORTHMAN. It is perfection. It is epic, in the way that STAR WARS is epic, the LORD OF THE RINGS movies are epic, BRAVEHEART and GLADIATOR and BEN-HUR. It is the reason why movie theaters exist, and it ought to be seen on the big screen to be fully appreciated.

Whatever movie ends up winning the Oscar for Best Picture next year will be overshadowed by Will Smith slapping Chris Rock. And it will not be any better than THE NORTHMAN. It likely won’t even be as good. Don’t believe the hype? Don’t believe THE NORTHMAN could be that good? It is. Go see it for yourself.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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