Movie Review: RAMPAGE
I’d been planning to see RAMPAGE but could never make the time. First I was busy, then AVENGERS came out, then DEADPOOL 2, and I had to see them first. Thanks to a pre-season tropical disturbance, though, it rained out my Memorial Day, so I spent some extra time at the theaters this past weekend. I saw SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY first, but then I made time for RAMPAGE as the second part of a double-feature. I kinda wish I hadn’t. The latter film left me really disappointed.
Here’s the problem with RAMPAGE. It doesn’t know what kind of movie it wants to be. It’s too grim in places, too violent (even if the violence is reserved for CGI-created monsters) to be appreciated as a big chunk of goofy fun, like, say, JUMANJI is. Yet it’s far too goofy to succeed as a serious movie. As a result, it manages to be neither. It’s unbalanced. It’s the cinematic equivalent of driving in a car with four tires all of different sizes and all improperly inflated to differing levels. It is, for lack of a better word, clunky. I really had hoped for better. I mean, a giant, mutated wolf (with wings!) battling a giant mutated ape and a giant mutated crocodile? How could they mess THAT up? Welp, they DID manage to mess it up. Too bad. My advice: Skip it.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!