MOUNTAIN MONSTERS Rednecks Against The Were-Pig
Last week–or was it week before last–I mentioned that I had finally seen an episode of the MOUNTAIN MONSTERS television series from Destination America, and I pronounced my verdict: it’s total, unpolished bullshit. How I made it so many years without ever seeing an episode I can’t say, but now that I know it exists, it seems the bloody thing is popping up everywhere on my TV schedule. I watched the “Sheepsquatch” episode, where the monster “attacked” the rednecks’ four-wheeler, and sat there on the sofa shaking my head and wondering how it is that anybody, even taking into account just how stupid some people really are, could ever believe what they’re watching is real. Another episode followed, wherein the hicks were huntin’ a were-pig. A pig monster that walks on two legs, according to the “witness” the yokels interviewed. Since the show producers had to have the bubbas catch SOMEthing eventually to maintain any semblance of realism, this was the episode that saw the boys succeed. By the program’s end, they captured…a feral pig. Oooh, ahh. Just a pig. There are thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, of wild hogs running loose in the Appalachians. Catching one is hardly a feat.
As hard as I’ve been ragging on this show, though, I have to admit that it’s grown on me a little. Kinda like a rash. If you watch it strictly as a parody, though, it’s somewhat entertaining, and I give props to the actors for their ad-libbing skills and for remaining in character, even if they are just playing slapstick versions of themselves.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!