More than an Animal

I was watching one of those Bigfoot-hunting shows—and by “watching” I mean it was playing in the background while I was doing other stuff, only halfway paying attention to it, as generally those kind of shows don’t really interest me. (Spoiler alert: They don’t ever find Bigfoot. They go out in the woods and record some distant howls that *might* have come from a Bigfoot and some knocking sounds that might have been made by a Bigfoot or might have been made by one of the camera crew, and…that’s it. End of episode. They’ll get him next time, though! Ad nauseam.) I heard this guy on the show say (and I’m paraphrasing) “It’s just an animal. I don’t put no stock in it bein’ nothin’ else.”

No, camo-dude. Bigfoot is not “just an animal”. If it were, there is simply no way that we wouldn’t have found it by now. Found it definitively, I mean. Like, it would be classified by Science, and we’d probably even have specimens in zoos. It defies all probability that an animal that large wouldn’t have been officially “discovered” by now. Alternately, the amount of evidence that Bigfoot-like creatures exist is overwhelming. The only way to reconcile these two contradictory facts is if the creatures are intelligent, if they don’t *want* to be “discovered”, and if they possess some means of *not* being. There have been eyewitness accounts of Bigfoot creatures disappearing into thin air. Whatever they are—and that they *are*, that they exist, is not in dispute—they are far more than mere animals.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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