Monster Sex – Parental Warning!
I’d be curious to see the extra clicks generated, if there were a way to measure such things (which there isn’t that I know of), by the title of this article alone. Guaranteed to grab the attention of all Monsterkidz and Horror nerds, and probably even moreso in the case of the heterosexual males of those twin demographics. Let’s be honest brothers. Most of us were never social butterflies. We were never ladies’ men. We probably didn’t get a lot of dates back in high school. Thus it is that, even though we have hopefully made up for it in the years since then, we are still prone to take immediate note of anything with the word “sex” prominently displayed thereupon or therein. Am I wrong? We love monsters and we love sex, yes? And we never were quite able to get enough of either of them.
Anyway. SyFy has compiled a list of movies that take human/monster sex to levels only touched upon by THE SHAPE OF WATER. Are their selections really that salacious? Yes and no. SPECIES and SPLICE feature female monsters that look a lot more female for the majority of their respective movies than they resemble monsters. I’m not sure if they should even qualify for a compilation of films that depict actual monster-on-human sex. Nor am I sure that any Troma film should EVER qualify, as their objective is always to shock, titillate, or gross-out. What does that leave? TANYA’S ISLAND, where
Vanity has sex with a Sasquatch, and LA BETE, which shows you the close-up of its monsters’ erect penis.
Both of these latter two films blur the lines between porn and monster movies. They are also both unbearably bad. (Give me credit for not saying “un-bare-ably” here, aight?) But chances are if you go to the effort of seeking out either of these movies, you really aren’t that concerned with the quality of their cinematic achievement.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!