Meet Cheddar Man

First off, couldn’t they have come up with a better name for the guy than “Cheddar Man“? I know he’s named after the location where his bones were discovered and not after a hank of cheese, but seriously, people. He was the very first Briton. (The first MODERN Brit, anyway.) He deserves a cool-sounding name. Kennewick Man. That was a cool moniker. Piltdown Man. Neanderthal Man. And now, CHEDDAR Man! It just doesn’t fit.

Cheddar Man–I’m gonna have to come up with something else to call him, on this site if nowhere else. Howzabout “Somerset Man”? Cheddar Gorge, where they unearthed the 10,000-year-old remains, is located in Somerset. Or better yet, “Doggerland Man,” after the land bridge that connected Britain to mainland Europe during the last ice age and over which the ancient traveler would have crossed? I think I’ll go with the latter.–Doggerland Man had dark skin, either brown or black, according to a recent examination of his DNA, and likely hailed from the Middle East originally. Despite his dark skin, though, he had blue eyes. Also, he could potentially have been a cannibal, or have known a few of them. Oh, if only those bones could talk.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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