What is the werewolf conceptually, if not the Jungian representation of Man’s inner, unevolved, animal nature given free rein, allowed off its leash to . . . Ah, screw it. I can’t be all highbrow while reporting on something like this. It’s one of those things where you have to laugh, or else hang your head and succumb to existential, soul-crushing despair over the hopeless swirling down the toilet drain of our entire human species, the squandered legacy bequeathed to us by nature as gods in ruin. A man had sex with a Shih-Tzu. Because his wife paid more attention to the dog than she did to him. Hey, a fella’s got to get his action SOMEwhere, doesn’t he?
Worst of all, this happened in Alabama. Of COURSE it did. For those unaware, I live in Alabama. Always have. And I love my home state. Alabama the Beautiful, it’s called, and deservedly so. We in Alabama have this reputation for rampant redneckism, for racism, inbreeding, ignorance, poor hygiene, etc. And I’m always like, “Hey we’re the home of NASA. We put people in space.” Then some idiot goes and gets his groove on with a Shih-Tzu, and I’m forced to concede that all those stereotypes about my home state are, sadly, true. But we ALSO put people on the moon, dammit!