Lovecraftian Muscle Men

Any of you all old enough and cool enough to remember M.U.S.C.L.E.? They were these little pink rubber action figures. They started out in the late 70s in Japan as superhero figures but as the 80s progressed and the “Rock-n-Wrestling” mania took off, the M.U.S.C.L.E. men transitioned into professional wrestlers. It was an easy shift, really, since wrestlers are essentially superheroes sans the super powers. M.U.S.C.L.E. (Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere) was the American takeoff of the Japanese toyline licensed by Mattel. I still have a few of the little pink grapplers lying around.

Now the fine folks at HH Toys & Novelty Co. are releasing Lovecraft-inspired M.U.S.C.L.E.-styled figures. Yes, please. Look for little pink versions of the Elder Thing, the Dunwich Horror, Cthulhu (naturally), Gug, and a Ghast. (See what I did there? A-ghast? Aghast? Come on, people!) Not all the figures will be muscle-y pink, though. Some are gonna be available in neon and glow-in-the-dark, too. I need about a hundred of them. But damn, they aren’t as cheap as M.U.S.C.L.E. figures used to be, that’s for sure! If your fun and frivolous side can overcome your practical side enough to allow you to drop almost thirty bucks on six little rubber (but gorgeously detailed) figures, click here.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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