Just Take My Damn Money, Already
I’m a sucker for this kinda stuff. A big ol’ sucker. BREAKOUT BEASTS is the new toy line from Mega Construx. You buy an alien-esque plastic egg. The egg is built to pop open at its “equator” and inside is filled with neon-colored slime—and a monster! The creatures are billed as “buildable” so that likely means that you get to put them together, the way you do with Lego toys. The only problem—which isn’t really a problem as much as it is part of the fun—is that you won’t know which of the Beasts you’ve purchased until you get it home and open it.
There are five beasts in all. Three of them are dragons. Torchwing “is a scaly green dragon with steely horns and spikey tail. Ironclad in armor, [he] likes to butt heads in battle!” Tempyst “is a shocking blue dragon [who] uses his razor-sharp claws and stormy water-breath to claim victory!” And Blackheart “is a fierce dragon with blazing red skin…powerful hind legs [and] fiery breath…!” Boulder isn’t a dragon but a “gruesome gargoyle [who] uses his huge forearms to strike hard and fast!”
Ten there is Ironclaw, who will be of the most interest to werewolf marks because he “is a beast with bite!” He possesses “sharp claws and sharper teeth” and is “a wicked wolf that can’t be chained up!”
Cha-ching, Mega Construx.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!