I never much care for the April Fools’ posts that pop up every year on April 1st. Maybe because they’re so obvious. Like corny jokes, or old ones, where you know the punchline from the start. Few of them are inventive or clever. Take this article on jackalopes, for example. You take one look at the headline and you’re like, “Duh. April Fools.” I wouldn’t want the April Fools’ posts to go away, as they’re an excuse to have fun. I just wish they’d strive for more originality. Jackalopes, which are jackrabbits with deer antlers, don’t really exist. Is there anyone who doesn’t know this?
Most people, however, are unaware that there HAVE been documented sightings of were-jackalopes. That is to say, anthropomorphic jackalopes. It’s impossible to say whether or not these creatures ever transition to human form. Probably, like the Michigan Dogman or the Bray Road Beast of Wisconsin, which have earned the title of “werewolf” based solely on their appearance, the were-jackalopes are not human at any time, full moon or not. But they do have the ability to walk on two legs, according to eyewitness reports. And they are far larger than your standard mythical jackalope. Also, unlike their mythical counterparts, which are herbivorous, were-jackalopes are bloodthirsty brutes. There are no reports on record of one ever attacking a human, but thousands of cattle mutilations over the years have been blamed on them. You wouldn’t want to run into a were-jackalope on a dark night–or any other time of day. They are notoriously aggressive.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!