Jack and Diane: S’Ellen Out

s-ellen-outIf you didn’t like Ellen Page in Hard Candy, and don’t understand how a 15-year-old can accept pregnancy like a vicodin cocktail in Juno, then maybe you were counting on something to look forward to in her next role, Jack and Diane: Please don’t. Hard Candy was a highly thought-provoking film that made people wonder what their kids were really up to, and just how mature a kid can be at that age. Juno was a great film but really pushed the limits of just how accepting a kid can be.

The odds that Jack and Diane would push the same controversial buttons on society, while still appealing to the liberal teen community are more than playable; it’s practically a fixed horse race. However, according to superstar Ellen Page, the role was far too controversial to involve herself in, and she didn’t want to risk her career by getting involved in an experimental indie film. So …killing a pedophile and getting pregnant by the dorky track kid… those things weren’t controversial and experimental? Page dropped out for this, and the inevitable funding issues that come with indie film-making. The word, my dears, is “sell-out.” Start your career with indie movies, then bow out and go for the safer roles? What’s that in the distance? A large and resounding “BOO!” While Page schedules her first boob job, and blonde bleach-job, her part is going to most likely, a better actress… like Alison Pill, who is prettier anyway!

Andrew from Werewolf-News put the perfect words to it:

“…She’s clawed her way out of obscurity by starring in such gems as Trailer Park Boys, Hard Candy and X-Men: The Last Stand. Most recently she became an icon for teen pregnancy in Juno. We certainly wouldn’t want to tarnish her career with anything as tacky as controversy, would we?”

jack-and-diane-lesbianSurely not. The film follows two young lesbians in New York City; when the tough Jack meets the sensitive softy Diane, there’s lots of making out and romantic promise, but Diane discovers that her newly awakened sexual desires are turning her into a werewolf. The plot’s metaphor for werewolves and sexual maturity is even more confusing than the one in Ginger Snaps, –but it still sounds like fun. The movie’s back on track; the director, Bradley Gray explains Diane’s transformation thus:

alison-pill“When Diane first discovers love she is desperate to find out if her feelings are being returned. Only, she can’t find the words to explain how she feels. Her head gets fuzzy, she gets scared, she panics, and she transforms into a  horrifically [sic] violent creature. This creature, though grotesque, becomes Diane’s way of saying, “I love you so much I want to eat you and put you inside me forever.””

Gross. The werewolf will be modeled after a skinned polar bear, so.. double gross! Wanna go even grosser? The film is supposed to include animated bits, –CGI is my guess, –of Diane’s figurative insides, described as “a world of blood, hair and teeth.” That’s disgusting. I can’t wait!

oliviathirlbyportraitSo the important things to know are, despite the film’s two-year set-back in the fall of ’07, the film is back, and has resumed film with Alison Pill as Diane, and Olivia Thirlby as Jack. Excited? We knew you would be! Check out the film’s website for updates.

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