werewolf, werewolves and lycans

It’s Dart!

When I first saw this I would have put good money on it being a case of Photoshop. Turns out it’s the real thing. A gigantic tadpole they’ve named “Goliath”, with “gigantic” being a relative term and “they” being the scientists who captured and are now providing a home for the jumbo amphibian. “A look through the scientific literature suggests this is the largest bullfrog tadpole ever recorded,” says the director of the American Museum of Natural History’s Southwestern Research Station in Arizona. “Rare indeed!” They theorize that a “hormonal imbalance” is to blame for the creature’s growth, and that this same condition will prevent it from ever turning into a bullfrog.

Those poor scientists. We all know what’s really going on. “Goliath” is in reality a baby Demogorgon, somehow escaped from the Upside-Down. Let’s hope none of the scientists have any pet cats running around loose. And it would be in their best communal interest to release the pollywog now, before it has the chance to sprout the familiar flower-petal maw filled with fangs. If they do insist on keeping it to study, however, I would advise they keep it fed with a steady diet of Three Musketeers bars. It is unlikely that Goliath is the only one of its kind to have crossed over into our dimension, and when the Demo-dogs begin their inevitable rampage, it would be a good thing to have at least one of them friendly towards humans.

The Evil Cheezman • August 7, 2018

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