Horror Happy Meals

File this one under “Things that don’t exist, but should!” Co-file it under “Things that have inspired fake Facebook articles” if you’d like. Either and both statements are true. Peruse these amazing Horror-themed Happy Meals. Unfortunately this is the only place you will see them. They’re not real. As in, you can’t actually go to a McDonalds and buy one. They aren’t real Happy Meals. They are the creations of artist Newt Cloninger-Clements. Oh, if only McDonald’s would see the potential in mass-producing these things! Kids love Horror, and the sheer number they’d sell to adults would more than offset any negative publicity from oversensitive whiny PC types, if there even were any, which I kinda doubt.

The toys that go with the boxes are precious. How adorable is that little Critter from CRITTERS box? Or the little Annabelle doll from THE CONJURING? The THING! The Cryptkeeper from TALES FROM THE CRYPT! And I love that the one for THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN is an ear of corn! That’s brilliant, right there! A google search reveals that Mr. Cloninger-Clements has made a $#it-ton of these beauties in addition to these newest additions featured in the linked article. He even made one of NIGHT OF THE LEPUS! Alas, an exhaustive (All of five minutes! I swear!) search failed to find any Happy Meal based on AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON. (I did find that the guy made one for AMERICAN MARY, though!) Get on that one pronto, Mr. Cloninger-Clements!

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763 MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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