Here it is. The smoking gun. Proof that those overly-religious uptights who’ve been warning us for years about the evils of Halloween were right all along. In true THE WICKER MAN style, there are rural villages in England where the traditional Halloween celebrations are capped off by ritualized murder. Yep. For sure. It’s true. It happens.
What, you don’t believe it? You think it’s horse shit? You DO know THE WICKER MAN was based on a true story, right?
There was a time when Halloween led to more serious prankishness than rolling yards, soaping windows, or egging cars, though. The children of those first immigrants from Ireland and Scotland, the peoples who brought the tradition of Halloween to America, were regular little devils. Some of the pranks described in this article sound like a lot of harmless fun; coating church seats with molasses, for example, although I *probably* wouldn’t have done it inside a church. A school, on the other hand…Some of the pranks were no better than vandalism, though, and even assault. How’d they put an end to this horrid tradition? They started giving kids candy instead. Yeah, bribe ’em to behave! I can get behind that philosophy.
Can you bribe them, however, not to commit murder? How many Reece’s Cups does it take to circumvent a human sacrifice? In England, apparently, they haven’t reached the magic number yet.