Guilty Confessions

I have a confession of sorts to make. While I don’t know Channing Tatum personally, we both come from the same place. We call the same small Southern town our hometown. Neither of us lives there now, but it is where we are from. (Incidentally, actor Lucas Black, famous for his deep Southern drawl, who has appeared in movies like SLING BLADE, THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT, and LEGION, grew up just a few miles from where I was born and is related to my nephew. And when he got his first acting gig in the Kevin Costner film THE WAR, it was the big topic of conversation at the little grocery store where I worked my first job as a bagboy, since his aunt or cousin or something like that worked there, too.)

This is all irrelevant to everything, except to make my point. I *should* be rooting for Channing Tatum. Home-town homie and all that. I should celebrate his success the same way I do that of Dr. Travis Taylor from THE SECRET OF SKINWALKER RANCH. (We went to high school together.) But I just can’t. Tatum, while handsome and charismatic, simply does not possess the acting ability necessary, in my opinion, to anchor a performance as any of the Universal Monsters. Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains; these guys were incredible talents. They were, first and foremost, *actors*. Channing Tatum is just a “movie star”. He doesn’t have the chops to pull this one off. We may come from the same place, but that doesn’t trump my adoration for the Monsters. Whichever one of them he ends up playing, if he ends up playing any of them, will deserve better.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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