Going Ape

I’ll just warn y’all upfront, this is going to be a big week for simians. Our hairy closest living relatives are making all kinds of news, and since they ARE hairy and bestial and so closely related to us, they warrant consideration on a site dedicated to the study of all things werewolves. If, by visualizing, conceptualizing a hirsute brute (huzzah for alliteration!) that is both man and wolf we are, in effect, recalling our own primitive, murderous ancestors, and if their innate violent nature still buried within us is what frightens us so much, fueling the archetype of the werewolf, then this latest report from scientists is a big deal for we lycanthrophiliacs. What is this news, you ask? Chimpanzees have officially entered the Stone Age—and they aren’t alone.

Chimps and certain species of monkeys have been observed using crude stone tools in elaborate ways. What’s more, they seem to be displaying a learned behavior, passed down from generation to generation. This suggests that they may have been in this Paleolithic state for some time, thousands of years or more. This evolution of coupled idea and action among our hairy cousins is distinct from our own development, scientists state. The primates are evolving separately, but they ARE evolving. And as anyone who’s studied them knows, Chimpanzees in particular share our propensity for bloodshed.

Come to think of it, maybe “evolving” is a relative term.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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