Goatman has been getting lots of press this week. I’m not sure why. To my knowledge there have been no newly documented sightings. There was a story that appeared on creepypasta, that served as inspiration for a short film. Maybe that’s it, and it just took a little while for it to catch on. People have been seeing Goatman for decades, though. He’s no Johnny-come-lately. But what IS Goatman, you ask? Instead of a werewolf, imagine a were-GOAT. Or a Bigfoot with horns. In other words, he—or it—is exactly what his/its name implies. (There was apparently a guy who owned a lot of pet goats who was also called “Goatman,” but he wasn’t considered a cryptid. That I know of.

Goatman has been sighted in Kentucky, Maryland, Texas, Wisconsin, etc., which means, if people are all spotting the same creature, he/it really gets around. The alternative is a whole herd of goat people. The idea of a single Goatman, all alone in the world, strikes me as kinda sad. I hope there IS more than one. If, on the other hand, people are in reality seeing the Hellenic god Pan, how the heck did he get over here from Greece? And where are his famous pipes? He’s rumored to be quite the musician, you know.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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