Giving Demons a Bath

Christian wackjobs today wonder why people can’t take them seriously. Pressuring school boards not to teach Science because it conflicts with *their* beliefs (Note: mainstream Christians in general have no problem with Science or evolution.) Refusing to bake wedding cakes for sinners—and by “sinners” they mean only people who are having sex without their approval, thus reducing their interpretation of God to a great cosmic sex maniac. Oh, and here’s one: spraying an entire city with holy water to exorcise it of its demons.

Monsignor Rubén Darío Jaramillo Montoya plans to dump holy water from a military helicopter over the Columbian city of Buenaventura. I honestly hope it’s a symbolic gesture only. I’d be okay with that. I’ll give the benefit of the doubt. And Buenaventura certainly needs deliverance from demonic forces, whether they be of the spiritual or the physical variety: it is one of the most crime-ridden and violence-plagued places on earth. But if *all* the Monsignor plans to do is dump holy water—and how can you even bless all that water, anyway?—and not seek to lessen the rampant poverty that allows the crime to gestate and blossom, then it’s all going to be a case of sound and fury, as Shakespeare said. You all should know how the rest of that quote goes. A tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing…

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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