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Getting’ busy with Bigfoot

BELFAIR, Washington — Nancy Hoggert told BigFoot Tracker that she and the infamous bigfoot have been in a sexual relationship since 2008…

Y’all, I can’t even. Sometimes there just isn’t any need for color commentary. It’d be kinda like that guy who made a parody video of the song “Friday” by that Rebecca Black girl. Why? Is the song not already a parody of itself? You’re kinda beating a dead horse, there. So, just the facts, then. I will leave it to my readers to make up their own minds about this case. (And you thought last week’s post about the guy cramming cow eyeballs up his rectum was bad.)

The place: Washington state. A 52-year-old woman named Nancy Hoggert revealed she is having a sexual affair with Bigfoot, and is trying to conceive a child with him/it. In the woods to check on her marijuana grove (I said I wasn’t gonna comment, but this is hard, y’all!) she ran into Sasquatch and, in her own words: “I hadn’t gotten any in a while and well, from there, it somehow turned into an adult movie. I don’t know if he started it or I did. He did me from behind, which felt great.” Um, yeah. There you go. Bigfoot love. Mmm-hmm. Yep . . . I got nothing.

Next week, I promise, no more Bigfoot sex stories.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763

MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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