Funko’s Cereal Killers

It’s official. Funko is certifiably the coolest company in existence. Perhaps the coolest company in the history of the human race. It’s even conceivable that it is the coolest company since the Big Bang occurred, creating the Universe some 14 billion years ago. Yes, Funko is THAT cool.

Don’t believe me? Need some evidence? Ask and you shall receive! Remember me reporting that Funko would be creating collectible yet still edible boxes of cereal. (That is to say, the cereal will be edible. The boxes won’t be. Or technically they would be, but I don’t know why anyone would want to eat cardboard, as it tastes bland and is completely lacking in nutritional value. Not that I know this from personal experience or anything. Also, eating the box is guaranteed to ruin its collectability value.) In fairness, you might have missed it, since it was over at our sister site,, but you really ought to be visiting that site, too, as well as our OTHER sister site, I provide the content for all three, so you know there’s some good stuff to be found there, and there.

Anyway, Funko won’t just be producing Elvira cereal, or Freddy Krueger cereal, or Beetlejuice cereal. There’s gonna be a whole line of collectible cereals. Just look at some of those offerings! “Skeletors!” Mumm-Ra! Cthulhu! Pennywise! Lord of the Rings! Gremlins! And each of those boxes will contain not just cereal but a genuine Funko mini-figure!

I’m gonna go broke. Totally gonna go broke.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!

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