Feet! FEEEEEEEEET! (And Meat!)
Any of you remember the TV series MARRIED…WITH CHILDREN? I’m sure you do. Any of you remember actually watching it when it first aired on the Fox network, from the inaugural season in 1987 to the series end a decade later? There was this one particular episode, when Al Bundy was having recurring nightmares about feet. He was a shoe salesman, remember. A scene would be going on, and you’d hear Al offstage screaming “Feet! Feeeeeeet!” That’s the first thing I though of when I chanced upon this article. I admit to laughing out loud. Not raucously, but a good four second chuckle. I’m betting if any of you remember that episode, you’ll be hard-pressed to repress a giggle yourselves as you read this. You bunch of sickos.
Feet are washing up on beaches in British Columbia. No other body parts. Just feet. There have been thirteen this year alone. THIRTEEN. Supposedly none of the feet came from people who died of unnatural causes–but how can they tell? Personally, I immediately think of some sort of sea creature eating people, all of them except their feet. Or maybe a serial killer with a foot fetish. And, as mentioned in the previous paragraph, MARRIED…WITH CHILDREN.
Check out this ad that popped up on the page as I was writing this post, by the way. Raw Meat jackets. Because why not?
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!