Equal Time for Furries

Last week, I posted an article on this pervert who resigned from his job in public service after it was revealed that he was living a “secret” life as a Furry. I don’t know how “secret” it really was, and it wasn’t so much his being a Furry that got him into hot water as it was a comment he posted online about rape being something he “tolerates”. I caught some flack from angry Furries who claimed that I was misrepresenting them, and this despite the fact that I mentioned in the piece that there are, I have been informed, Furries who do not engage in any of the perverted practices associated with the community.

I opened the floor on our Facebook page to any Furries, or anybody else, who wanted to set the record straight. Said one of our followers, Andrew Michael Hill, “I guess in broad strokes you could say [Furries are] ‘people who readily identify with animal characters,'” echoed by Steven Simmons, who said “a [F]urry is an individual with an affiliation, attraction, or identification with anthropomorphic animals. That is, animals with a human-like body structure. That’s basically it…” Okay, guys. That sounds harmless enough. But what about the perverts? “[That aspect] certainly exists beneath the overall umbrella,” says Hill, “but in no way circumscribes the [entire] community…” Fair enough. As it so happens, there is even a separate term Furries use for the perverts who like to wear their animal costumes while engaging in sex acts: a “Yiffer.” Follower Kylen Baier informed me that “not all Furries are Yiffers. Most [F]urries simply enjoy dressing up or cosplaying. But there are some who are into yiffing which is just having sex while in costume. Yiffer comes from the word ‘Yiff’ which is apparently the sound of mating foxes…” Alrighty, then.

Any person who desires to be open-minded should always be receptive to learning new things. I’m glad to have learned the difference between Furries and Yiffers. In the future, I will only occasionally riff of Yiffers–good-naturedly, of course. Ultimately what a person does in his or her private life t’aint’ none of nobody else’s business.

Except for Bronies. I will show no mercy to Bronies. Bronies are an evil pestilence that must be destroyed. :)

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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