DNA Is Undeniable, But Not All-Inclusive

You probably read the headlines, even if you didn’t watch the new Travel Channel documentary. They’ve provided scientific proof that the Loch Ness Monster isn’t a dinosaur or a giant catfish or a big sturgeon. If it exists at all, the results say, it must be a big eel. A really big eel. This is certainly possible, though it would have to be far bigger than the biggest known eels are known to grow to qualify as the Monster.

They tested the water for DNA. The DNA of anything and everything that has been in the Loch would have showed up in the test, right? Right. The DNA of any physical animal *would* show up in such a test. But what if the Loch Ness Monster *isn’t* a physical animal? Supernatural creatures wouldn’t leave DNA behind. Creatures composed only of energy. Creatures perhaps just passing through from other dimensions. The same loophole applies to all cryptids; Bigfoot, the Jersey Devil, Mothman, the Beast of Bray Road. Such creatures would only leave DNA behind if they are corporeal, are physical in the sense that we understand physics. They might not be corporeal. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t real.

I don’t believe they’ll ever find DNA for most cryptids. Because most cryptids, even the real ones, the ones that actually exist, probably aren’t physical animals at all.

By The Evil Cheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at


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