Discriminatin’ Against Krampus
It is still Halloween season as I sit typing these words. (Halloween season runs from October 1st until Thanksgiving Day.) For that reason I’m putting off writing about Krampus until it is actually the Christmas season. Mostly. The horned holiday enforcer keeps popping up in my newsfeed—it seems that not Santa Claus alone is the victim of being brought out early—so I might as well go ahead with this one. The overly-puckered anuses on the St. Cloud (Florida) Chamber of Commerce have ruled that a Krampus-themed float will not be allowed in their city’s annual Christmas parade. The move by the tightasses backfired, though, as the company that wanted to have the float, Phyre Brewery, will instead have an out-and-out Krampus festival. Instead of one measly float, they’re going to have to deal with a whole winter wonderland of Krampus. Serves ‘em right!
This prejudice on the part of the uptights does no harm to Krampus. Much the opposite. Anything that the old fuddy-duddys (or should that be “fuddy-duddies”?) tell the youngsters is taboo only becomes more attractive to the latter, whether its music or movies or fashion or whatever. The prudes just insured that kids who might have not had any interest in Krampus before will now for sure be checking him out. Best publicizing money can buy, and it didn’t cost ol’ hornhead a dime.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!